Russian Revolution. -A play by Rick.
TROTSKY(WEEPING):
Len, Len, don’t die, not now, we need you so much, you selfish bastard.
(Stalin creeps on from behind with an ice axe, this is your oppertunity for a bit of ‘panto’ kids, Lenin should gasp ‘he’s behind you’ and Trotsky should turn and say ‘what?’ But Stalin has already run around the other side. See if you can get the whole audience involved. Lenin would have approved of such a demonstration of co-operation and solidarity.)
LENIN DIES.
TROTSKY:
Oh no! Lenin’s life has reached its historically inevitable dialectical conclusion.
STALIN:
And so’s yours (RAISED PICKAXE)
TROTSKY:
What are you doing, Stalin?
STALIN:
Everyone says you’re so clever, I’m pickin’ your brains (this is a brill pun so play it for laughs.)
STALIN KILLS TROTSKY. THE THREE COUNTS REAPPEAR DRESSED AS WORKERS, MARCHING IN A FASCIST MANNER.
STALIN:
I am the Red Tsar!
TSAR(GETTING UP):
Nothing has changed.
RASPUTIN:
In that case, give us a blow job, Joe.
THE THREE WORKERS(SING AND DANCE):
Long time ago in Bethlehem The Holy Bible say (Copyright Boney M 1978)
ENTER HITLER
HITLER:
Hallo Stalin, how about a non-aggression pact?
STALIN:
Cheeky thing, Hitler, I hardly know you.
HITLER:
That’s not what you said in the back of the bike-shed!
ALL:
What?!
HITLER:
Yes, its true- I’m pregnant and you’re the father, Stalin!
STALIN:
Blimey.
HITLER:
Oh no! I’m having a baby! (PRODUCED BABY FROM UNDER JACKET) It’s a girl- what shall we call it?
ALL:
Mrs Thatcher!!
RE-ENTER THE SPIRIT OF CLIFF RICHARD.
CLIFF:
And so Stalin and Hitler gave birth to Mrs Thatcher, and the historical dynasty of complete and utter nazis was assured. So remember, kids, revolution is a precious thing; don’t let Mrs Thatcher stick her pickaxe in your trotskies. (This is another vague innuendo gag, so go for a laugh if you can, but remember its also the conclusion to the whole play.)
THE WHOLE CAST LINK HANDS AND SING ‘POWER TO ALL OUR FRIENDS’
(After this the director should get on stage and do a big speech of thanks to Rick for writing such a brilliant play.)
